I was worn and grey like an old sweater you can’t throw out but won’t put on.
He admitted he was in love with her, but he said he loved me.
Translated, that means, I want everything.
Translated, that means, I don’t want to hurt you yet.
Translated, that means, I don’t know what to do, give me time.
Why, why should I give you time? What time are you giving me?
I am in a cell waiting to be called for execution.
I loved him and I was in love with him.
I didn’t use language to make a war-zone of my heart.
“Walk with me. Walk the broken past, named and not. Walk the splintered plank, chaos on both sides, walk the discovered and what cannot be discovered. Walk the uneasy peace we share.
Walk with me, through the night, the night air, breathing particles of other lives. Breathe in, breathe out, steady now, not too fast on gassed lungs. I did not mean my words to poison you.
Walk with me, walk it off, the excess fat of misery and fear. Too much to carry around the heart. Walk free.”—Jeanette Winterson
“The trouble is, the fewer women who appear on these shows, the fewer feel comfortable doing so – and more broadly, and most importantly, the fewer girls and young women are likely to feel confident claiming public space, speaking their minds, believing women are valued for their voice and opinions. Katie Snape, who books the guests for Sky News, is highly committed to getting more women on screen, and says she often has trouble booking the number she would like. “I always have these conversations with women where I say: ‘We’d love to have you on the panel’, and I explain why, and they laugh, and they’re very self-effacing, and they say: ‘Gosh, I’m so flattered, but I just don’t think I’d have anything to say.’ And I’ve never rung up a man who has said that.”— Kira Cochrane (via shin8shin)
“I need more evidence,” and other things that probably make you a mansplainer
Samhita Mukhopadhyay (feministing)
This is not a big fucking deal–also known as, I understand that sexism is out there, but this is hardly an example of it–there are much worse things we should focus on so please leave my fantasy world where sexism is no big deal out of it. Trust me young lady, I know what sexism is but why are you being so dramatic?
I need more evidence–often when women claim they experience sexism they are told they were imagining it and that what they experienced was hardly a moment of sexism–but maybe if they had more evidence they would be believed. Or, “maybe that guy was an asshole, but he’s just an asshole, not a misogynist.” I shouldn’t have to get punched by a DJ or sexually harassed at the club for someone to believe that I experienced sexism. Many of the things we talk about are hard to prove with “evidence” so we are faced with fighting a culture that doesn’t believe we can be sexually harassed. Often, the amount of evidence that would ever be needed to prove the “crime” would be impossible, since the mindset is so set in stone.
You claim you are being persecuted by well-reasoned analysis–yet, somehow, the one bringing the claim is the dramatic one. For example, you say “all of these statistics suggest that women do not have the same level of access as men when it comes to math and science,” and the response is, “I can not believe I have been slighted by this dogmatic lesbian feminism, I am exhausted from this witch-hunt.”
You don’t explain how you were misunderstood–instead get into in-depth discussions about the meaning of life, words that can be interpreted differently (like “good”) and focus on semantics. Important note: if you were misquoted, than clearly explain what you meant to say–not engage in some evasive response that makes no sense.
You were “just kidding”–because clearly, you are so well versed in feminist politics that you just make fun of stuff and we should get your highly nuanced, deeply political humor.
You find one woman to claim you are not a sexist–big fucking deal. Also: see Herman Cain–there are a lot of people out there that make no sense.
Women are just not drawn to “x”–also known as the nature argument, i.e., ‘the reason there are no women interested in dubstep is because it is just male dominated–that’s just the way it is.’ With facts like that, who needs fiction?
Where is your logix?!–despite continually presenting logical reasoning, mansplainers are often so dogmatically attached to their mental frameworks, they don’t see your logic. For example, you may say, “hmm, why is the cover of that youtube video a picture of a woman with headphones on her breasts instead of a bra–that seems pretty sexualizing and suggests a trend towards misogyny!” Response: “Woman! Can you please stop being so emotional and give me a logical explanation for how that is sexist–did that picture rape somebody?”